There are two parts to our feelings. What we feel, and what we should feel. We need to keep these parts distinct.
Don’t confuse what you do feel with what you should feel. Take the time to feel what you feel and hold off on judging yourself for those feelings. Know what you feel. Name what you feel. Drink deeply of what you feel. Confess it to yourself. Feel it thoroughly. Feel it.
Only after you’ve had the time to live in what you do feel are you ready to think about what you should feel.
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My name is Mike Tong and I live in Minneapolis with my wonderful wife Catherine, my son Christian, and my daughter Juliana.
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It can be difficult to tell the “shoulds” to wait until you can name the “dos” but I am thankful that you see this importance and that you encourage your friends in this way. Thank you for this post!
This is a really great insight for a guy like me. Thanks Tong.
Thanks for putting into words what I have been frustrated with myself about.
Now it makes more sense… and hopefully I can sort through my emotions better.
I was never an emotional person growing up! But I feel like these past 6 years have brought out a side of me I never knew existed.
-mom committed suicide.
-a new step family
-getting married
-working night shift
-moving to Minneapolis
-husband in school
-infertility problems
I’m not the tough, emotionally steady girl I thought I was growing up! So much of the time I am kicking myself for feeling a certain way that I know is so terrible..
this was very freeing when you said it to me at small group the other week.
thanks, my long lost blogging friend.
good to see you back in the blogging world!